Does this count as a first sentence??

While we were working in the valley last week, with poor zander in tow, we took a much needed break and Adam ran 10 miles while Zander and I played at a park. My mission from Adam was to conquer Zander's fear of slides, well that was easy, I went down the little slide with him once and he was hooked. We spent the next 45 minutes going down the slides over and over, graduating to the big slides after just a few runs. The next day we were driving down the road and passed a park, from the back seat Zander shouted "Mom, Stop, Slide!" It was the cutest thing I have ever heard!! I swear he picks up new words every day. If I ask him are you hungery, he says yeah, meat! If I sneeze he says "shush you" I love that one! He now knocks on doors and then immediatly yells "come in" he is a funny one.

He also got his first skinned up knee this week, chasing a cat down the sidewalk, now every time he sees it he whines OOOOOWWWWWIIIIIEEEE until I kiss it. Here are some pictures.

people with absolutly no tact!

Ok, since being on a high dose of steroids for 6 weeks (I just tapered down and got off them 2 days ago) I have gained 30 pounds in the last 3 weeks. I am so embarrassed, I feel disgusting, I have never had a hard time with being heavy, I have always had a hard time kepping at at least 100 pounds.... so now I feel like a freaking beached whale, so here is my week..... Monday I dropped Zan off at the sitter, the first thing she said was "you look like shit" ok, thanks, I can blow one off, then I go to the office and 3 different people made comments to me about how much I had put on, these are my co-workers and it is non of their damn buisness but oh well.... well the clincher was today I went to the post office and the nice lady there that knows me was saying how cute zander was, and said, are you excited for the new one. I told her as nicely as I could that I was not pregnant, just on steriods, and my intestines are very infected and inflamed right now, making me look about 4 or 5 months along (it is big, seriously it sucks) so I left and sat in my car and cried for about 15 minutes. Zander kept coming up and kissing me and patting my shoulder, which is the only reason I pulled it together... so now I am on a mission to loose this weight quick.... slimfast is about to become my best friend!

OK, Quick, before my husband gets back.....

Who wants a really bad dog, and a naughty kitty? I have never been that big on pets, unless you count fish, which I still maintain do have their own unique personalities and are loads of fun. This week may have sealed the deal for me. First of all my husband told me to make sure I let the dog sleep in the house while he was gone for my protection... okay, I can go with that, the dog doesn't bother anyone when he is inside, he just stays in his crate, and the first night I actually found myself feeling bad for him. His crate floor is a hard plastic tray, so the next day I marched myself right to walmart with the great idea of making him a nice bed for his crate. I came home with plenty of foam and a nice soft material that wouldn't hold the yucky hair in too much. Now anyone who knows me know I SUCK at sewing, but I t hought I would give it a try. After a few attempts I had this great bed. So I went to bed feeling pretty darn good about myself, and in the morning woke up to my nice pad shredded all over the kitchen, he ate the whole darn thing.. stupid dog.

Then yesterday I was airing out the house and had the back door open for a while, I heard a strange noise in the kitchen and when I checked it out I found a poor little injured birdie, with our cat sitting by it just waiting for the perfect moment to pounce on it. She must have caught it and brought it in to play with, the poor thing had a broken leg and wing. So I got it, and made it a nice little home with a warm clothe, some sugar water and bird seed, and tucked it away in the laundry room. I took it out a few times to make it drink some of the water, and to check on its wing. It was actually a pretty nice bird, it was scared, but would not try to get away when I held it, it actually would bite onto my ffinger very gently, not to hurt, but I think to hold on so it wouldn't fall down.

The birdie unfortunatly didn't make it through the first night, but at least I tried!

on the bright side, Zander has decided that any time I am cleaning the kitchen he should take a bath in the kitchen sink. Not only is this really cute, but I can actually do the dishes without him closing the diswasher every 10 seconds, and I can be very productive while being right by his side..... there is not much cuter in life than a baby in a bath!

If you look really close in the 2nd picture you can see his chipped tooth, poor baby fell down on our concrete walkway and did that a few weeks ago :(

Poor Zander!!

He has lost his 2 favorite things in the entire world this week... his daddy (who will be back on Saturday) and his "nilp" which is not coming back! Today is day 3 of weaning, and he is just absolutly devastated! I kind of am to, but nursing has been taking its toll on me, and I came to the the point where I HAD to go on steriods to get my health back in line, and they do pass through the breastmilk, so I just couldn't nurse and take them. I have loved our nursing relationship, it is his favorite thing in the world, I love the snuggeling and cuddeling, and just the way he looks up at me, and rubs my arm with this tiny little hand, like he is saying "thank you so much mommy" I think he will be my last baby, at least of my own, we are still tossing around the idea of adopting, my husband wants a little girl more than anything, I would love another baby period, but he says no more boys! Each day seems to be getting easier for Zander, but I am feeling really really down about the whole thing. It is such a step, like he is not my baby anymore, but an actual little person, who COULD conceivably survive without me now :( I know I have to let him grow up, but I just LOVE babies so much, I love everything about them, their smell, their innocence, even their cries are cute!
Oh well, I guess this is the close of one chapter, and the start of another one, a much more tiring one I have a feeling!
Now I need to go and cuddle the baby who just opened the pantry, dragged a toy car over to stand on and got a can of nuts down and brought it to me and said "Nut, Okay" this is the new thing, he says okay for me before I get a chance to answer, like that will stop me from ever saying no to him.... It makes my heart swell with love for his cleverness!

Lots of old pics and vidoes here

We have been having a blast lately uploading pics and video, some very old, like when Lyndsay was a baby, and some new.... check them out :)

Photobucket Album

How do you have fun in New Mexico??

Well, if you are us, and have awesome parents and friends that will go with you it is easy! We went to Albequerque this weekend, our awesome friend Dirk who recently moved to Virginia invited us down as he had to teach a class. We haven't seen them in a while, and we missed his wife and kids, but it was great to see him. We spent a day at the aquarium and the zoo. Zander had more fun than I have ever seen him have at that aquarium, the kid is so in love with fish. Big fish, little fish, any fish you can find. I am not joking when I say we sat in front of the big shark and ray tank for over an hour with him pointing at every fish that came by and laughing his head off. We have a saltwater tank at home and his favorite thing to do is to climb up on the stool I keep there for him and just watch them. Adam's parents came with us, and Aidan got to spend the night in their room, which was the highlight for him, it was great to spend time together and just have fun. Pictures will follow soon
:)

when it rains it pours

most of you know all the problems I have been having with Aidan recently, so this post is mostly thearapy for me, not trying to just make a big whine fest here! Aidan has this ability to make me feel like the biggest failure in the world, he is the only 8 year old I know that TRUELY HATES his life. He talks about suicide often, leaves notes in his room to the same effect, cries all the time, he is just a miserable kid. I tried the ADHD meds for a while, he was alot calmer, but the dr's though MAYBE they were causing his emotional t roubles, so now he is hyper and can't focus, and still hates his life. It feels like I do NOTHING but punish him. He is ruining me, he is taking a toll on every aspect of my life. I feel like a huge failure as a mother, I am foccusing so much on this that I am letting things go around the house, at work, so I feel like a failure there, I am to mentally exahusted to give Adam or Zander the love and attention they really need and deserve, this is just killing me.
Aidan was baptized yesterday and came out saying "I feel like I have a brand new life" but today he was back on the suicide talk. I am scared to death when I take him to the Dr. this week they will want to hospitalize him..... I have had multiple people offer to let him stay with them for a while to get through this rough patch (his father is NOT one of these people) I just don't know what is right, but I know that this sucks@!!!!!
Another thing very upsetting to me was that today in church Lyndsay said she would go up and bear her testimony if I would.... I brushed it off as too embarrassing, but the truth is I just don't have a testimony. I can't really tell anyone this because I will look like a freak, but I have never felt the spirit, or had a sign from god, or had a prayer answered, I try to do good, and do the right thing, and teach my children the ways of the church, but it is hard when I just don't feel it.... I wish I had a strong testimony to help get me through this time in my life...