Trapped

Trapped is how I am feeling lately. I had no idea what a privilege was to be able to drive until my new seizure condition took that away from me. It would not be smart to try to even drive down the street until we get this figured out and get the seizures and strange neurological issues to stop. I also can't ride a bike or take baths, that is beside the point. I can't go anywhere, our house is 3 miles out of the range that any buses go, it would cost about $10 to take a cab to the bus stop.... I have been desperate enough to look into it. I am so lucky that my medical insurance provides transportation to and from Dr's appointments. My husband is great about helping me get things like grocery shopping done but he despises stores like Wal-mart or Target so we just don't go there. I hate asking people for rides, I even hate asking my husband. He is a busy guy, in his last year of law school and now taking responsibility for all of our finances since not driving means I also can't work. When he was looking at houses to rent he gave up some of the things that were important to him in order to have a park within walking distance that I could take the kids to..... we use that park multiple times a day!

I need to step back and appreciate the time I am being given, time to spend with Zander one on one... time that I didn't get with my older kids. I am immersed in a world of candy land and pre kindergarten homework, this is what I always wanted and now that I have it I am having a hard time with it..... what is wrong with me?

I am going to go now and find a new board game for Zander and I to play, and I am going to prepare to help Aidan with some boy scout things when he gets home from school... I wish I could take them out for ice cream, but I need to quit wishing and start enjoying. I am trying and I am pretty sure that I will get used to this and embrace my new life.... just make it soon!