I had better let the happy side show :)

Wow, my last few posts have been pretty down! I had better state that I am normally a pretty happy person, but there is some unknown force that is winning the battle and pushing me to a dark dark place lately. Today I am determined to win and BE HAPPY!

Yesterday Zander and I went to the community pool next door to the apartment that we are so lucky to have for the month of June. There is a kiddie pool with water from 1 to 3 feet deep. Zander was in heaven and we swam for 4 hours. I brought a book but never got around to laying on the towel and reading... I was having too much fun with my baby boy to even care about relaxing! After the pool we ran over to Target to look for some shorts for Zander and Aidan... I love Target! I got each boy 2 outfits, myself 2 shirts and a pair of yoga pants, plus some presents for Zander birthday party, all for under $40... clearance racks are the best!

On Wednesday I had a meeting with the HR Representative at Banner hospital about a quarter mile from our apartment. Adam had houses he had to look at so I told him to just take the little guy and drop me off. It should be no problem for me to walk the short distance home after my meeting. Heck the apartment and the hospital were on the same road! Of course it didn't work that way. There was a freeway to cross, and I guess you can't just walk across a freeway, so I turned on a residential street looking for an under or overpass. I walked and walked and walked, I talked to Aidan on the phone and was actually having a good time. Then I realized I could no longer see the freeway. So I went in to a gas station and asked where exactly I was. The rattled off some street names, and I said, OK, how far is that from my intersection? about 2 1/2 miles.... I had walked 2 1/2 miles in the WRONG direction!! In heals, nice clothes, and 100+ degree heat! I bought a water and resigned myself to a little more walking. I got about out of the parking lot before I realized that my feet hurt... bad! I slipped my shoes off and saw huge blisters on just about every toe, plus the bottoms of both feet.... and I still had about 3 miles to get home. So I cried. I sat on the side of the road and cried. After a while I got up and started walking again. Eventually Adam called to see how my meeting was. I managed to sound upbeat for about a minute and then lost it and told him everything. There was of course nothing he could do, he was an hour away looking at rental houses with a realtor. I told him not to worry and that I was sure I would be fine... it was great exercise right?? After we hung up I cried again, but this time I kept walking. 4 different men offered me rides, but my friend had recently accepted a ride in a similar situation and the guy who picked her up drove her to an old neighborhood and forced her to watch him do things that I would think no one would want an audience for! With that in mind I smiled and said I was fine over and over... wishing just one GIRL would offer me a ride. About half way home I got really lightheaded and thought I was never going to make it... fortunately there was a pediatric urgent care right in front of me. I went in and found a corner to just sit and cool off. After about 15 minutes of rest I finished my walk.... so happy to be home and get my shoes off! I guess my sense of direction has not improved much at all!

The good news is that the hospital contacted my references yesterday, so maybe I am in the running for a job... fingers crossed!

Aidan is spending some time with his dad. I miss him, but I talk to him, and he is having a great time :)

Baby kisses are the best!!!
Me and this boy have such a special bond!

Thank god for THIS blessing!!

My stepkids will be here in a few short weeks, then we will have Zander's real birthday party, then shortly after that Lyndsay will turn 15! Yikes!!

Here are a few quick webcam shots of me and the kiddo... no makeup, it is a bum sort of day... my feet hurt!