Is bettering ourselves really a selfish move????

It seems like that question gets a split response.... people who have not been divorced tend to tell me yes, most divorcees on the other hand are on my side and think, as I do that by each individual parent doing what they need to do to be happy, the kids do better than if the parents "settle and are not really happy.....We have a few people in our lives that think that moving to Hawaii and enhancing our lives is a selfish decision, and that we should do what they want instead of what will help us in the end. We really thought hard about this, and think it is the best we can do for our entire family. Of course Adam's ex would like us to move to California, where she lives, and my ex would like us to move to Phoenix, where he is, but where do WE fit in to the equation?? Adam wants to go to law school, U of H has an enviromental law program that he wants to get in to, and we love Hawaii, and the kids all love it.... I know it is hard on our exes, but both of them moved away long ago, for their own reasons, and we were supportive, we changed visitations, and took on half of all travel costs, even thought it was inconvenient on us, and emotionally hard (on my husbands side) for the kids to be so far away, and to miss out on their daily lives..... I can't tell you how many times he was brought to tears missing a pinewood derby, dance recital or baseball game that one of his kids were in. And now the time has come that we HAVE to leave Show Low.... I Our income for this year is close to zero, we have been living off yard sales, ebay sales, and by selling our house and living in a camp trailer we got rid of alot of expenses. But we can't go on like this, we NEED to get out of this town and on with our lives. So the question is should we move to where we already know there are great opportunities for us, and where our dreams lie, or should we move closer to an ex, for their convenience.... and if so, which one?? My opinion is since we were willing to work with them when they moved, it is their turn now to work with us. I hope and pray that they both come around and do this amicably because anything else WILL hurt the kids involved. Split families are so hard, also very much worth it.... I just really wish that Adam, myself, and both of our exes could be friends and work things out... I pray that it works out that way because we are out of choices in my opinion!

So, honestly, could you give this up????? Hawaii is paradise to us, we honeymooned there, and have been back 3 times since, we both have felt that we BELONG there, it is right for us, the "aloha lifestyle" is just our way of living, living with love, we lived that way long before falling in love with Hawaii...... you know sometimes you see something or someone and you are inexplicably drawn to it, you just know it is right for you, that is Hawaii for us! I know that things will work out, and we will be there, if not this year, then a few years down the line, we WILL obtain our dream!!