Ok, Yesterday was a bad day, very bad. I often will make posts that are never meant to be posted, just saved for me and only me to see. I did this yesterday only I pushed the publish button instead of save. In the brief time that I figured out how to unpublish it and save it for my eyes the one person on this earth that I never meant to see it did. For that I am sorry. It is now filed safely away under the "for my eyes only" column, but unfortunately I have made someone very angry, and have to suffer the wrath of that now.
I am trying hard to look on the bright side of things today. I have a husband, and a husband that works hard for his family. He is currently going to very intense classes in preparation for his LSAT, after taking this very hard test we will find out where we move. I am very excited for my husband to pursue his lifelong dream of going to law school, and I am very excited to move and start our new life... wherever that may be. The stress of this, along with the stress of not having a home of our own has been hard on both of us. I am confident that we will pull through this and come out happier than we have ever been.
I have 5 children and children love unconditionally. They are all fabulous kids and I am blessed to have them in my life. They are what keeps me going when the going gets tough. It is almost impossible to not laugh when Dylan is around, Lyndsay has this fabulously calming energy about her, it is relaxing and fun to just sit with her.... oh and she loves to do my hair which I adore! Aiden Tanner will distract Zander if he is crying at my feet while I am trying to make dinner, and play happily with him for an hour, without ever being asked (Thanks for that A.T. you rock!) Aidan Wolfe has this energy that drives you right up the wall, but he has so much love in him. He is always there for me... I mean ALWAYS, like he never leaves my side!!! But when he sees a sad look on any one's face he is not too proud at the age of 9 to give lots of hugs and cuddles. Zander is my joy. There is nothing in the world Zander loves than cuddling... well maybe he loves his bottle more, I'm not sure... but he is a lover for sure. If he sees me or his dad laying on the couch, and tilt his head to the side and say "mom, can I snuggle with you please mom?" (Apparently the use of mom at the beginning and end will give him a better chance), and he will get up on us, lay on his tummy and put his arms in between us and snuggle down for 5 or 10 minutes then go about his day. It is the sweetest thing I have ever experienced!
I am lucky enough to have parents and in-laws that will allow us to stay with them in this time of transition that we are going through.
I am lucky to have the opportunity to go back to school to get a degree, and lucky enough to be getting straight A's so far (except for that darn English composition class, which may just be my first B in college!)
I am working on finding peace in my life, I am trying to get rid of the anger that I hold toward so many different people because it is toxic to me. I have to tackle it one thing at a time, but I am working on it, and I will get there!
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
The journey of Homeschool
First of all I want to say thank you to Misty for all her help in getting me started in Homeschooling. My husband's ex wife Jenna deserves a thank you to, for giving me lots of info on how she home schooled for years, and for being willing to share that with the wife of her ex husband of all people! I think without you two I would still be sitting at my computer crying over where to start.
Our first week of homeschooling went fantastically. Aidan was excited and ready to learn. We went to the store to get some basic workbooks (our budget is severely limited so I just can't afford expensive materials). We looked at the 3rd grade books first since that is where is "belongs" We flipped through them all and he said he knew all of that stuff. I was snotty and said "sure you do" and holding the books asked him questions from all throughout the books. Yep he got them all right, so we moved on to 4th grade books. The grammar book for 4th grade had some new material for him, so there was a start, but math, he again proved to me that he knew how to do everything in the book, so on to the 5th grade section we went. There we finally found a challenging math book for him. We also picked up a word game book, a brand new notebook, and were on our way.
We start each day as if we were going to school, Aidan must have a good breakfast, get dressed, clean him room, and brush his hair and teeth before 8:30. This is not much of a problem for a kid that is never asleep past 6.
Math is usually first, and since it is all new material that is where he usually needs help from me, so we sit together and do our work, I work on my homework and go back and forth helping him out. Then he does grammar and the word games mostly on his own. After that, which normally takes about an hour and a half he gets a break. With his ADHD this is a long time for him to stay still, so he gets a snack and is allowed to ride his bike or go to the park for an hour. He comes home for lunch, then we do his reading. he is reading The Divide by Elizabeth Kay right now and will do a report on it when we are done reading it. He is also required at least 1 page of handwriting practice a day. this is usually a letter to someone, or a story to keep in his journal.
Handwriting is our biggest challenge. I still don't know how to improve his handwriting other than practice. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!!
This has not been without challenge, believe me. One day last week we wanted to go to the library and find a good book to read, and some science ideas. We are living with my in laws in Anthem South, AKA the middle of nowhere, so it is a half hour drive to the nearest library. We got there, we found books and ideas, then went to check out and they said I was not eligible for a library card because I have no proof of address stating that I live in Pinal county. Of course I don't, we are only staying here until mid feb. or March, and we are staying with family so we have no utilities in our name. They recommended I mail a letter to myself for proof of address, but that is not something that can be done right then and there. So I had my normal breakdown and cried in the parking lot, then we pulled it together and the rest of the day went fine.
There has been days that Aidan has decided to test his limits and throw a fit about how it is "just not fair" that he has to do all this work..... actually he is sitting quietly in a corner at this moment due to that attitude. He spent last weekend with his dad, who is a teacher, but much like every other divorced dad I know it is party time at dad's , so he comes back mad that I won't let the Party continue.
Living with family makes anything structured hard. The TV is always on, there is nothing I can do about that. We are assigned to 1 bedroom that is "ours" and Adam is often studying in there.
But no matter the struggles or hurdles, we are going to make it, and we are going to have fun if it is the last thing I do!
Our first week of homeschooling went fantastically. Aidan was excited and ready to learn. We went to the store to get some basic workbooks (our budget is severely limited so I just can't afford expensive materials). We looked at the 3rd grade books first since that is where is "belongs" We flipped through them all and he said he knew all of that stuff. I was snotty and said "sure you do" and holding the books asked him questions from all throughout the books. Yep he got them all right, so we moved on to 4th grade books. The grammar book for 4th grade had some new material for him, so there was a start, but math, he again proved to me that he knew how to do everything in the book, so on to the 5th grade section we went. There we finally found a challenging math book for him. We also picked up a word game book, a brand new notebook, and were on our way.
We start each day as if we were going to school, Aidan must have a good breakfast, get dressed, clean him room, and brush his hair and teeth before 8:30. This is not much of a problem for a kid that is never asleep past 6.
Math is usually first, and since it is all new material that is where he usually needs help from me, so we sit together and do our work, I work on my homework and go back and forth helping him out. Then he does grammar and the word games mostly on his own. After that, which normally takes about an hour and a half he gets a break. With his ADHD this is a long time for him to stay still, so he gets a snack and is allowed to ride his bike or go to the park for an hour. He comes home for lunch, then we do his reading. he is reading The Divide by Elizabeth Kay right now and will do a report on it when we are done reading it. He is also required at least 1 page of handwriting practice a day. this is usually a letter to someone, or a story to keep in his journal.
Handwriting is our biggest challenge. I still don't know how to improve his handwriting other than practice. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!!
This has not been without challenge, believe me. One day last week we wanted to go to the library and find a good book to read, and some science ideas. We are living with my in laws in Anthem South, AKA the middle of nowhere, so it is a half hour drive to the nearest library. We got there, we found books and ideas, then went to check out and they said I was not eligible for a library card because I have no proof of address stating that I live in Pinal county. Of course I don't, we are only staying here until mid feb. or March, and we are staying with family so we have no utilities in our name. They recommended I mail a letter to myself for proof of address, but that is not something that can be done right then and there. So I had my normal breakdown and cried in the parking lot, then we pulled it together and the rest of the day went fine.
There has been days that Aidan has decided to test his limits and throw a fit about how it is "just not fair" that he has to do all this work..... actually he is sitting quietly in a corner at this moment due to that attitude. He spent last weekend with his dad, who is a teacher, but much like every other divorced dad I know it is party time at dad's , so he comes back mad that I won't let the Party continue.
Living with family makes anything structured hard. The TV is always on, there is nothing I can do about that. We are assigned to 1 bedroom that is "ours" and Adam is often studying in there.
But no matter the struggles or hurdles, we are going to make it, and we are going to have fun if it is the last thing I do!
Sunday, January 11, 2009
a few of my favorite things....
Here we are in all our glory, and super cool UGG boots for 1 of us!these pictures were taken at our Christmas, which was spent at the Hilton Tapitillo Cliffs resort in Phoenix. It was great to lay out by the pool for Christmas, and watch the kids kids (including my biggest kid Adam) have fun playing in the the water day and night for 4 days! I have more . pictures, but they are on the other computer, so here are a few make you smile.
Dylan and Zander are truly best buds!
Isn't she the most perfect being you have ever seen?? I adore that girl!
Aidan Wolfe also had a birthday while we were down in the valley, so we had a quick party in the park.... as you can see his favorite thing was just getting hugs from his sister, who he loves dearly!
Here I am
with my baby
boys!
I had almost forgot just how fun it is to be with my kids, all 5 of them, but I have to say that Lynz
and I really click, and I love that!
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Thoughts and life
We are staying with my in laws for a while in the valley.... it is nice to be out of the snow, but boy oh boy I cannot wait to get into a house of our own again! The where does not matter anymore, I just want it soon!
Adam is taking classes to retake his LSAT so that he has more options as far as which colleges he can get in to. We should know in Feb. or March where he gets in to, and where we will end up. We have a custody battle that I don't even understand with his ex wife in Feb. so I know we won't leave AZ until that is over. That is a tough subject with me. I like his ex wife. I think she is a good person and a good mother. I have tried very hard to look at her side of this and I just cannot understand it. We HAVE to move. She HAD TO move to Utah and then to L.A. and we agreed that it was in her best interest, and picked up half of the travel obligations (cost and or time) We offered her a deal where we split travel costs, and reduce our visitation time from 100 days a year to 80 so that the kids don't have to miss school (very little if any) but she says no. I just don't understand. I have been told by 1 of the kids that she is working hard to convince them that we are disregarding them in general because we are not moving to where they live. We just can't follow her. She has moved from Show Low to Utah, to Los Angeles in under 4 years..... why would we think she would stop moving? It is very frustrating to me. I feel like we have supported her only to be stabbed the second we turn around..... oh well, we shall see what a judge says on this one.
I am homeschooling Aidan, which is a totally new concept to me. I am also doubling what I have been doing in school. Right now I am taking English Comp. and Computer applications, which both have to be completed in 5 weeks, and I have been nominated, and accepted to be a group leader in my computer class due to my high grades, and what my teacher and classmates have seen of my discussion board projects. I have never been a leader at anything before, so true to my nature I am terrified! But in a moment of insanity I accepted, so I will add that to my full plate!
Tomorrow Aidan and I are off to find a good library, where he can find a good book, to do his first book report on. I am also ordering him a typing program, under the advice of my husband's ex wife, who I respect as a homeschooler and mother. Wish me luck... Aidan is a brilliant boy and I REALLY want to keep him excited about education!
Zander is playing along with the homeschooling, saying it is time for school, and he needs his "colors" (crayons) to do his homework, super cute!
Adam is taking classes to retake his LSAT so that he has more options as far as which colleges he can get in to. We should know in Feb. or March where he gets in to, and where we will end up. We have a custody battle that I don't even understand with his ex wife in Feb. so I know we won't leave AZ until that is over. That is a tough subject with me. I like his ex wife. I think she is a good person and a good mother. I have tried very hard to look at her side of this and I just cannot understand it. We HAVE to move. She HAD TO move to Utah and then to L.A. and we agreed that it was in her best interest, and picked up half of the travel obligations (cost and or time) We offered her a deal where we split travel costs, and reduce our visitation time from 100 days a year to 80 so that the kids don't have to miss school (very little if any) but she says no. I just don't understand. I have been told by 1 of the kids that she is working hard to convince them that we are disregarding them in general because we are not moving to where they live. We just can't follow her. She has moved from Show Low to Utah, to Los Angeles in under 4 years..... why would we think she would stop moving? It is very frustrating to me. I feel like we have supported her only to be stabbed the second we turn around..... oh well, we shall see what a judge says on this one.
I am homeschooling Aidan, which is a totally new concept to me. I am also doubling what I have been doing in school. Right now I am taking English Comp. and Computer applications, which both have to be completed in 5 weeks, and I have been nominated, and accepted to be a group leader in my computer class due to my high grades, and what my teacher and classmates have seen of my discussion board projects. I have never been a leader at anything before, so true to my nature I am terrified! But in a moment of insanity I accepted, so I will add that to my full plate!
Tomorrow Aidan and I are off to find a good library, where he can find a good book, to do his first book report on. I am also ordering him a typing program, under the advice of my husband's ex wife, who I respect as a homeschooler and mother. Wish me luck... Aidan is a brilliant boy and I REALLY want to keep him excited about education!
Zander is playing along with the homeschooling, saying it is time for school, and he needs his "colors" (crayons) to do his homework, super cute!
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Another teenager in the house YIKES!
Today Dylan hit the big 13! He has only been in my life for about half that time, but I know him and love him just like my own.
Dylan took advantage of the fact that we are staying in Phoenix for a while and requested his special birthday dinner to be "Hometown Buffet" Our tradition is that each kid can decide what we eat for dinner on their birthday (we have had some very unique requests such as cream of wheat and mashed potatoes, macaroni and cheese and wheat thins.... you name it!) while normally it is something we cook at home we all jumped for his idea this time! Mom mom and pop pop treated us as part of Dylan's present, and we all ate until our pants were too tight to move. Aiden Tanner was such a crack up, he finished his first plate of food and came back with a plate full of desserts. His dad said wait, you have to eat food first, and he said I did dad, a whole plate...... when asked what was on that plate he smiled and said 1 piece of pizza and a few fries. This is a kid who loves dessert, and is smart enough to just skirt the rules! :) I think Dylan sampled just about everything they had, then had 3 or 4 different kinds of cake (hey, it was his birthday!) then about 4 bowls of ice cream with different toppings each time! Wow growing boys can put the food away!! Dylan got a great running shirt, a huge Lego set, and a computer game he has been dying to get from us, and of course money from relatives. A pretty good birthday I think.
Dylan has been such a joy to have as a stepson. I think that Dylan and I have a pretty special relationship. He is more than a kid to me, he is really a friend. He is very smart and he knows when to give me a hug and when to just make me laugh. He shares alot of his dad's personality which of course I love. I bet if you looked up "smart Alec" in the dictionary there would be a picture of Dylan and his Dad making their goofy faces right there.
Anyone who knows Dylan agrees that they are blessed to have him around. My parents have told me often that when they said they wanted more grand kids from me, this is not what they had in mind, but they got so much more than they had ever hoped for.... so did I!
Happy birthday Dylan, remember that you are always loved!
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