My diamond in the rough :)

My stepson Dylan has become the most loving, caring 12 year old boy I have ever met. He has been here for a week now and has astonished me with his random acts of kindness,.... towards me, his siblings, and his father. Not once has he seen me doing dishes or cooking that he hasn't offored to help, and the few times I have tried to take the trash out he has run up and taken it right away from me. This boy just warms my heart in every way. I am so thankfull to have him in my life. Seeing the way him and my other stepson interact with Zander gives me such mixed feelings.... They LOVE him, the LOVE playing with him...... It is great, but it makes me relize that While I know Aidan loves his brother, he doesn't interact.... he keeps to himself all the time. I know he is really depressed, and he has a pyche evaluation next week because the dr's think that his ADHD was misdiagnosed and he really has bi-polar syndrom. I am sad because that seems like a lifelong lable to me, but we NEED to get him fixed. He tried to "kill himself" a few nights ago. He was in trouble for something and sent to his room, and I went in to find him with a bike chain wrapped tightly around his neck saying if I could just pull this tight enough to kill myself...... the same night I found paper where he had written "I am worthless" over and over. Dylan is pulling me through this with his outpouring of love.... I think he feels that I need it, and thank goodness he is giving it cause this is a tough one to get through!

husbands..... sometimes they can drive you nuts!!

I am so lucky that mine is not usually one of those! He is completley supportive of everything I do, he t ells me how beautiful he thinks I am on a daily basis (he may need strong glasses, but I'm not gonna tell him!) and this last week he has beed a godsend to me! I have been pretty sick with Chrones disease. On Friday my Dr. wanted to put me in the hospital, but I declined as I have a baby who is still nursing to take care of.... I also delined alot of the pills they want to put me on for this reason. I did however accept the percocet to deal with the pain so I don't get too grumpy and kill said baby! I have woken up more than once in the night over this last week with my husband squeezing me so tight I can't breathe, then saying "oh sorry I woke you, I just love you so much" He is such a doll! He helps me with the kids all that he can, while still working crazy hours trying to make ends meet. He is often home late on weeknights, working until 8 or so, so that when his kids come he can take off a bit and have so fun. I love that about him..... heck I love everything about him! I am one lucky woman, and even though the skys are falling down all around us, I know the 2 of us will be left standing, holding on to each other for eternity!

Halloween fun

We had a great time, the kids got LOADS of candy.... I couldn't believe how much they got! We each carved our own pumpkin, and then while we were out trick or treating they got smashed (dang teenagers!!) The kids costumes all turned out cute thanks to the help of grandma. Zander was the cutest little spider I have ever seen, and he loved the costume. He ran around patting his plush stomach all night! Check out the pictures!

http://s111.photobucket.com/albums/n157/jenstaley/?action=view&current=c658fdd8.pbw

so much to say...

Life has been so busy lately that I have not kept up on this at all. Aidan does have ADHD for sure, he is now taking straterra for it and seems to be doing well. He is also in counseling once a week. He can only see his dad under my supervision, which means that I get to hang out with my ex husband... what fun! My stepkids are here this week, which is usually a good feeling, but this week I am really down. I feel like Lyndsay is fake with me. I don't know if there is any basis to this, but her mom told her dad that she doesn't want to come for the 6 week summer visit next year, and my feelings have been terribly hurt since. Dylan told me today that Lyndsay has her mom convinced that Zander is a huge crybaby... I asked why and he said that they just sit over there like 2 teenagers comparing Zander and her baby Conor. It drives me nuts. Lyndsay is so sweet when she is here, she really reaches out to me, she asks to babysit Zan, and offers to do it for free, but if I am to believe Dylan she then goes and tells her mom how much she hates it, and how I am a no good mother, and tells her mom all my faults in order to build her own mom up. I am just sad about this. I love these kids, all of them. I don't want ot have a copetetion with the 2 babies..... no 2 babies are the same, they all whine or cry at some point, and for different reasons. It is frustrating to not know the truth. My husband is working tons of extra hours, and we are making a whole lotta nothing. I applied for a job at the hospital as a medical transcriptionist today... wish me luck, I need to brush up my typing skills!

The pride of my life

I just got Aidan's report card today, and that boy rocks! He got A's in reading comprehension (91), Phonics (95) Spelling (91) Phonograms (98) and writing skills (93) a B is Math (89)Under the non accedemic performance section he has S in 4 (which is like a b) and U (which is unsatisfactory) in 3, but those were unnecessary talking, self-control, and stays on task.... alll of which should be helped with the ADHD treatment.... YEAH!!! and he is super cute to boot... check out his school picture!

He is still working hard to buy himself a nintendo ds, (because I am a mean mommie who thinks kids should have to work for these things) he has so far earned a whopping
17 of the $85 needed, but I told him to keep bringing home grades like this and he will get there faster! I paid him $5 for the report card, and he can do lots of odd jobs, so he will get there eventually!!

Videos of my sweet boy

Zander is growing up so fast. Here are a few recent videos of him. He is walking a little now, at 16 months old. He still crawls when he is in a hurry. His new thing is crawling backwards, as seen in this video. He also has some sort of strange fetish where he loves to crawl with things under his hands. This is cute until he gets to a bump and can't get his item to go over it, then that darn Staley temper comes out!
http://s111.photobucket.com/albums/n157/jenstaley/?action=view&current=ZANDERMOVIE01.flv

Here is one of a camping trip we took in September, as you can see we love camping!
http://s111.photobucket.com/albums/n157/jenstaley/?action=view&current=CampingVideo01.flv

scrubs - the funniest show ever!!

I don't know how I didn't discover this show for the first 5 years it was on, but let me tell you it is hillarious! Adam and I have been watching 3-4 re-runs a night! If you haven't seen this show it is worth a look!

missconnumication leads to ...... a pretty funny story!

Yesterday was a pretty normal day. I was at work, Zander was at daycare, Aidan was in school from 9:15 - 4:00 and Adam worked in the morning and was home doing law school in the afternoon. The plan is that Adam is always home when Aidan gets home. It is great, they really have some good bonding time and they both enjoy it. Sometimes Adam will run and Aidan ride his bike to soccer practice, sometimes they do homework together... sometimes they just cuddle on the couch and watch their favorite show (AFV) Yesterday at about 4:10 Adam called me and said that he was out getting his tire fixed on his truck and blah blah blah, and I said "what?! Where is Aidan? He said oh my gosh, I totally forgot! He rushed home and Aidan was here waiting. I have always told Aidan in the unlikely event that one of us is not home when he gets here to go into the back yard and the back door will be unlocked. Well it wasn't unlocked :( Bad mommy forgot! So Aidan used that brain of his and decided to go through the doggie door.... our dog has a kennel that has an outside area, then a doggie door to an inside kennel in the garage. Ok, good idea except that Aidan can't reach the gate latches, so he climbed the fence, went through the doggie door and was climbing the second fence (in the garage) when adam got home! Nice to know he at least thought it out and didn't panic..... I think we will communicate a little better about who is home for aidan from now on!

How in heavens' name to kids with older siblings ever make it???

Aidan loves his baby brother so much. He tells me thank you all the time for giving him a brother, and he wants nothing more than to help, and to take care of little zander. He has often offered to babysit (yeah right!) sweet but just not gonna happen!
So yesterday morning I woke up at 6:30 with no baby in my bed! For the last 15 months zander has woken up pretty much every morning between 5 and 5:30 (thanks to my husbands early riser genes!) and comes to bed with me to nurse and cuddle. Yesterday when I woke up at 6:30 and relized he wasn't there I paniced. The only reason I could think of for this change in schedule was that one of those cute stuffed animals that I let him sleep with against my mothers advice had smothered him.....(ok, I am not always logical at 6:30 am) so as I got ready to rush in to his room preparing for the worst I heard Aidan laughing in the living room. I went out there to find Aidan and Zander playing and having a ball! Aidan looked at me and said "mom, I got Zander up so you could sleep in, I have been taking care of him.... we even ate breakfast!" I said thank you to aidan, and told him how sweet he is, and then asked how exactly a boy who cannot even reach over the crib could get the baby out of the crib, he said easy, zander stood up and hung his arms over and I just grabbed them and pulled! Oh my gosh, I w as trying to subtly check to make sure that zander's arms still worked while telling aidan how smart the 2 of them were! ( I did later show him a better way to get zander out and explain the dangers of dislocating babies arms) All I can say is wow! It is a miracle that older kids don't kill off our younger ones in an attempt to help!

its always something!

Aidan is such a handfull lately! Last weekend he fell of some sort of strange aparatus used for football practice while at his dad's house and needed 6 stitches. We often ride our bikes to school, he loves it... zander is never happier than when he is riding in his backpack, and it is making my legs look dang good! Yesterday we rode to school and aidan was so excited to show me his "desktop garden" so I walked in with him. His teacher took me aside and said she is worried that he may have ADHD, and that we need to address the issue. Last years teacher said the same thing, and I managed to get through the year by modifying his diet... I have gotten pretty lax on the diet, as I have no willpower whatsoever. When I get up in the morining I like to have coco puffs and coke.... I am not a healthy role model here! So now I am back to the research that I only did halfway last year and the modified diet that includes no white bread, very little sugar, lots of protien... etc. I am hoping to get through this without the help of medication... we shall see.
He has also decided that he no longer wants to be aidan clark, he wants to be aidan staley. I told him that even though he is a staley, his last name is still clark, and he replied with can't dad just adopt me? I told him that was not really an option, so he decided to rebel. He is writing Aidan Staley on all of his school papers, told his soccer coach that his jersey needed to say staley instead of clark, and even told his dad he was "embarrassed" by the name clark...... wish me luck on this one!

its been a while......

Life has been so busy the last few weeks over here. Aidan started 2nd grade and is doing well. He loves his teacher, and is getting back into the swing of things. His new quest is to be called Aidan staley instead of aidan clark. He has thrown a temper tantrum or 2 on the subject, and even though I told him his name is, and will always be unless his dad lets him change it Clark I have noticed that he is writing Aidan Staley on papers he does in school. The poor kid is a bit stubborn! Adam had his finals for his first year of law school 2 weeks ago, and we are anxiously waiting for the results on those. He is taking a much needed break right now and just studying for the California bar "first year law student exam" that he has to pass to continue..... that is in October. I have been working alot, and selling alot of nothing. Real estate is way down right now, I am just trying to keep posative. Zander is at a new daycare and is really missing his sissy Lynz. He is having a really hard time with this transition, pray for a quick end to this!

Sisters....

My sister has been in town visiting for the last 2 weeks. She lives in Arkansas, I am in Arizona, so we don't get to see much of each other. It's funny how someone who drove me so nuts as a kid has turned into a best friend. Her kids are adorable. Elizabeth is 3, and Tristan is 12 months, 1 month younger than Zander. All of our kids had a blast playing together, and Angie has been dubbed the "coolest aunt in the world" by my older kids. She swam in the lake with them, cut down a tree, and got into a huge water balloon war with them..... We went camping, had lunch together a few times, and mostly just hung out and watch our children really get to know each other. It is so sad how family's get so spread apart. I have been married for 4 years and this is the first time she has really gotten to know my stepkids... fortunatly they hit it off great! Now it is time for her to return to her home and I will have to resort to looking at the millions of pictures and home movies when I miss her.

Summer is my favorite time of year!

I love the summer for many reasons, the biggest of which is that my stepkids get to spend the entire 6 weeks with us! It is the only time in the year that our family feels whole and complete to me. It is of course chaos to add 3 more kids, that have been living with different rules and ideals in another home, into our structured little world, but it is a fun kind of chaos. It is unbeliavable how fast laundry can pile up, the kitchen can get messy, and the kids rooms look like a tornado went through only touching pokemon cards, cars, and books (probably being used as ramps for the cars instead of actually read) That said I miss the mess when they are gone.

Lyndsay has been the best babysitter to Zander that I could have imagined. She has helped me to get Zander onto a nap schedule FINALLY!!! Every time I have tried in the past the babysitter has ruined it by just rocking him to sleep, now he is going to sleep on his own, and that is making him sleep longer and better. She has also taught Zander to give kisses, dance, clap and has seen him take his first steps. I am so gratefull to have had her for the summer, and am just dreading next week when she goes home :(

The boys have had an amazing time this summer to. We went on this extravagant trip in June, visiting Disneyland, California Adventure, Unversal Studios, Seaworld, and the San Deigo Zoo (where we met my all time favorite cousin Rob and his family.... that was my favorite day!!) With all that fun the kids couldn't wait to get home and relax! They have since had a summer full of bike riding, football catches, camping (even when it is in our backyard) alternating between the freezing water of the slip n slide and the 95 degree tempature of the jacuzzi, and of course video games.

Today Dylan, Aiden, and Aidan came to work with me at Torre Lakes and had a blast swimming in the lakes and trying to catch frogs and salamanders. They are such great kids and a pleasure to be with. I am so blessed!

Here's some pics of the boys today, and everyone else in the last few days.