Thursday, April 30, 2009

Thing I should have said

I wish I had some guts in me! Living with my father in law has become pure hell. He obviously resents me and the kids presense in his house... I don't blame him but man oh man can he be mean! Zander has had a cold for a couple of days. Last night he was probably at the peak, and was just plain sick. He was up alot, and since Adam had a class today I spent most of the night snuggling and rocking Zander in the living room. We were as quite as you can be with a sick 2 year old. I didn't turn on the TV or any lights, we just laid on the couch and occasionally talked quietly to each other. A few times we fell asleep and Zander woke up and cried for a minute, but he was not loud by any means. At about 6 am my father in law came into the living room, looked at us, growled, and walked back into his room. Yes he GROWLED at me! This is a grown man! I was appalled and took Zander into my room and didn't come out until the house was vacated. I look back a few hours later and ask myself WHY!? Why didn't I say something like "excuse me, did you clear your throat?" or even a nice chipper "good morning" but no, I said nothing. Instead I go into my room and cry. It is crazy., but I honestly don't feel welcome in the closest thing to a home I have. I really do spend most of the time that he is home in my bedroom, working hard to keep Zander in there.
Sufice it to say I am really hating this part of my life..... I don't know if I can make it to the end of the transition without either a breakdown or a murder... hmm, maybe I should go visit my sister!

3 comments:

mimi said...

you and your family are welcome here we would never treat you that way

Anonymous said...

of course you should come visit your sister! you know i allways want you! i could use your help right now!

Jenna said...

Hey Jen, Lyndsay told me about this post and about how he growled at you. Once I went to his office to talk about some lie he had spread involving me, and I just wanted to talk to him about it, and he stood there in front of everyone and stuck his fingers in his ears and said "La La La La I can't hear you!". Yep, a grown man. In front of secretaries and all. I was humiliated and STUNNED. And ask Adam about how when we lived with them and Dylan woke up in the middle of the night (he was about 8 months old), and I was walking him around in the dark living room trying to keep him quiet, Don packed his bags and left to drive up to Show Low at like 2 am because of the 'noise'. I was only like 23 and stressed out of my mind. It was horrible. I feel for you.