Heartbreak and thankfulness

I have a friend, I won't mention her name, but her life situation has been similar to mine. She was married before, and had kids during that marriage; it ended with an ugly divorce shortly after my marriage to Ryan ended. We went through the trials of single motherhood, dating, dealing with angry exes, and loneliness together. I found my dream man fairly quickly as far as these things go, and felt bad to be leaving her behind in a way. About 2 ½ years later she finally remarried, after a few casual relationships and one serious one that didn't work out. I was so happy for her. Her new husband had kids, her kids got along great with his kids, it seemed perfect. She was there for me when Adam and I lost our first baby together, and was overjoyed when I got pregnant with Zander…. Even more overjoyed when she found out she was having a baby about a month later! We got to go through pregnancy together, both of us having our youngest kids being 7 at the time it kind of felt like we didn't know what we were doing.

I have just learned that her marriage is ending; this breaks my heart on so many levels. Her kids will not only go through another divorce, but this time they will be losing family members for good. They will likely never see their stepdad or stepsibling's again. They are very close to their siblings; they are heartbroken, as is my friend.

This has made me so grateful for what I have been blessed with in the way of my family. I adore my step kids, and losing them would be like 3 of my children dying at once. I never try to be their mother, they have a great mother, but I think I play a pretty important role in their lives. I know that they love me, and I think of them as my children. I worry about them when we don't hear from them for a few days, and my house is defiantly empty when they are not here. Aidan would be devastated if he lost them or if he lost Adam, and I think that Adam would feel the same.

Adam and I have a great solid relationship. We are truly best friends, and even though our marriage has been put through quite a few trials during the last 2 years (adding a baby to the mix, selling our house and having to stay with my parents, Adam breaking his back and needing to make a huge career change, I could go on and on) I honestly think that we have and will continue to get through each of these trials as partners and friends, both committed to making this marriage last forever. I have no doubt that we will always be together, but seeing my friend, whose life has closely mirrored mine, (heck she even decided to go back to school this year after I did) has made me think about how lucky I am to have the awesome family that I do, and I will remember to tell them today and every day that I get a chance to just how much they mean to me.

My prayers go out to you sweet friend, no one should have to go through what you face right now, and for the next few years. You will get through it and come out a stronger and better woman. Mr. Right will walk into your life one of these days and sweep you off your feet. You deserve a lifetime of happiness, and you will get it. I love you.

The joys of potty training.....

Since we are so close to making a big move I havn't done much in the way of potty training Zander, but by some stroke of luck he seems to just get it. Well, I sould revise that and say he gets it as long as he is naked.... put a diaper, pull up, or underwear on the kid and he is so lazy he will just use it no matter what I do.
So, at my sisters house he was running around naked alot because she wanted her son Tristan who is about the same age to see him use the potty, and hopefully pick up on it. He did great, he has not had a single accident in at least 6 months, as long as he is naked...... My sister had a little potty seat set up in the kids bathroom and a box of the Kando wipes by it. So one night he went and used the potty seat for #2, which is great, what is not great is that he decided he could do it all himself, and never even told us he needed to go. He made an attempt to wipe himself, and then decided to empty the potty seat and empty it into the big toilet like he had seen me do every time he peed. Well he is not that coordinated, so he got the bucket part out, but then he spilled it down his leg, on the floor, on the potty seat, on the bath rug..... then just sat down in it and cried. I went in expecting him to just be whining but found what appeared to have been some sort of terrorist attack on the bathroom. Wow it was gross!
So you would think I would have learned my lesson, but not me! A few days ago he pee'd in the big toilet at home (we don't have a potty seat) and since he is obsessive he has to put the toilet lid down every time he uses it, and I had told him he had to do it softly and he dropped in on his little winkie, so now he stands there and yells mom, help every time he pees or poops because he just have to have that darn seat down. Yesterday I was putting away groceries and talking on the phone and he was yelling mom help, I just ignored him thinking it was the toilet seat thing and he would eventually just give up.... well a minute later he came out of the bathroom still yelling mom help, and I looked at him to tell him to chill out and he had poop running down his leg onto his foot...... and on my parents brand new carpet! AAAAHHHHHH!!!!! I have learned my lesson this time and have been running to his every yell of mom help! Wow it gets old considering the kid drinks about 6-8 12 oz cups or bottles a day, and he pee's a T-O-N!

You have now been warned, if Zander calls for help and you ignore him you might live to regret it!!

When did this become okay?

I am so appalled by the way women in general treat their husbands. When did bitchy become cool? I watch shows such as John & Kate +8, Everybody loves Raymond, King of Queens...... I love these shows, but the wives are horrible to the men. They are so condescending, mean, they use sex as a weapon, which is never okay. I see it in real life as well, I have friends who I love, but I see them treat their husbands like nothing but a paycheck. I have 1 friend who insists that since she stays at home with the kids and that is her "job" she needs to be paid for it by her husband..... WOW! I would give a lot to be able to stay home with my kids, but I have to work. There are bills to be paid, and a woman's job is to not only take care of the children but to take care of her husband as well, and that means doing what we can to alleviate stress, even if that means getting a job. We sit around and wonder why the divorce rate is so high..... well if we say 2 bitchy or condescending things to our husband every day for a week, and he just takes it, then when we do make a mistake they are way more likely to blow and a small thing can turn into a huge fight because the poor husband has been feeling picked on for a week, and now gets to let it out.
Lets end this now.... make it a goal to just be nice. Be nice to your husband, even if that means not saying something mean every time you want to, I bet in the end it will pay off big time!

Woo Hoo!!!! I finally have a car again!

Thanks to Craigslist, and a very diligent and sweet husband, I am no longer living life without a car! I am so excited, I hated not having a car, I hated the guy that hit me for driving off unharmed and unaffected.
We got an older minivan. It is not much, but it seats all our children and it runs, which is all I ask for. We were able to pay cash for it, which makes it even better, because I hate being in debt! We drove from one end of Arizona to the other looking for this and a trailer, we got lucky and found both today!
Next time you read this sweetie, thanks a billion!

Family reunion.... sort of :)

If only Lynz, Dylan, and Aiden T. had been with us we would have had our whole family together in 1 place... even with a small family that seems just plain impossible to do! We had such an amazing time out in Arkansas, it was even worth the 1000 mile drive to get out there (coming home the same distance was not so worth it!) It was so awesome to see my baby sister raising her babies, she is such a fantastic mom! Her kids are not only adorable, but they all 3 have the sweetest, loving personalities I have ever seen. I need to take a few notes from her on this one! Aidan, Zander, and I drove out there first, and had everyone to ourselves for a few days, then my mom flew out, then a few days later Adam and my dad joined us. Angie arranged for Aidan to take Tea Kwon Do lessons with her daughter Elizabeth who is 4 while we were there. It was awesome for Aidan, he just loved it, and he was GOOD! Elizabeth taught him to count to 10 in Korean in 2 days, and the instructor was super impressed. Zander got to play with his cousin Tristan who is 1 month younger than Zan, and everybody got to love on baby Cole. It was a time that we will never forget. My kids are devastated the last few days without their cousins, and my sister says her kids are to. I hope we can get together more often after this, it looks promising to me!

1 Class down!!

I just finished my first course on my path to my associates degree in business. This was a business and society class which I thought I would ace no problem.... imagine my surprise when the first assignment I did came back with a C! I later found out that this was because although my assignment was perfect, I used knowledge from my brain and didn't cite any references. I learned that lesson quickly! I got all A's and B's from there on and finished the class with a B+ Not bad considering I have been out of school for 13 years, and I did the class in 5 weeks, but I am determined to improve. I would love to get out of this with mostly A's. I feel so proud of myself, I am doing something for ME, I am not depending on anyone to help me through this. I feel very independent in this portion of my life right now, and it feels pretty darn good! I even resisted the urge to ask my husband to proofread my papers because he is a much better writer, and he is much smarter than me. I did this 100% myself! Now on to my next class...... please don't let it be algebra, that is the only thing I am really scared of!

Only 1 thing could make this week better

and that would be to have my hunny here with me. He will be here on Wednesday, and I can't wait to see him. I think this is the longest we have ever been apart! 9 whole days, and boy to I miss him!

The Kids minus Tristan

I have been having a fabulous time with my sister and her beautiful family. She has kids close in age to mine. Lizzie is 4 and her and Aidan are great buddies. Angie arranged with Elizabeth's TeaKwonDo teacher to allow Aidan in on her lessons since she is currently the only one in the 4 year old class and he has loved every minute of that. They play together all day long, and then they snuggle together all night, this is about as cute as you can get!

Tristan is 2, 1 month younger than Zander, and I can't believe the love between those 2! Little Cole is 3 months, and defiantly the cutest baby I have ever seen in my life. He is all smiles and coos, the only time I have heard him cry is if he doesn't get fed for about 10 minutes after he starts fussing a little.... he is PERFECT!

Beautiful baby boy!

Zander giving Tristan some love

Tristan and Cole Lookin good!

Zander loves "baby Cole"

The naughty Tristan and Zander have decided that they are super sneaky, and every night after we put them in bed we will hear noises and one or the other has climbed out of his bed and into the other's (Tristan has a tall loft bed and Zander is in a crib across the room) both boys can climb in and out of these beds at will, but most nights they end up playing instead of sleeping despite the warnings they get and we have to separate them. It is very cute and I need to get pictures. Last night I came in to find Tristan dead asleep in his bed and Zander shining a flashlight in his face saying "Tristan...... wake upppppp" funny but wrong :)

My sister and I have had some great bonding time. It is amazing to see my little baby sister all grown up. She is an adult! She is a mom, and a great one at that! She gets up and packs her husband a nice lunch every morning, plays with her kids, cleans her house.... all the things a mom and wife do, but this is my baby sister! She has grown up so much in the last 5 years, and I could not be prouder of the beautiful woman she has turned in to. I love her so much.

Her husband Mike is a saint. He works long hours, then he comes home and first thing he does is pick up anything the kids have left out before dinner, to give my sister a break. They have a nice family dinner every night, then he plays with the kids, gets them into jammies and read stories, he has included my kids in this routine since the moment we got here! I have never really got the chance to know my brother in law very well, but I am in love with him (in the sisterly way of course) He is the perfect man for my sister, they compliment each other so perfectly and the love they have for each other is obvious in everything they do.

More pictures will come in the next few days. Adam will be here Wed. which has all the kids very excited, but not near as excited as I am!

Off to see my baby sister!

Aidan, Zander and I left this morniny for our 15 day trip out to Arkansas (yeah this is about 19 hours cooped up in a car with 2 hyper boys... fun fun! I had to stop to sleep halfway through, and wouldn't you know it, I got checked into a hotel and am too excited to sleep! Just like me!) to meet the newest member of our family, Cole Wolfe Rogers. We will arrive late afternoon on Tuesday the 4th. My mom will be joining us on Saturday the 8th, then Adam and my dad will fly out on November 12th (this would be the day after Adam undergoes surgery for his shoulder... he is one tough cookie! The whole plan for this trip was for Adam to run in the Tulsa marathon on the 16th, but he injured his knee and will not be able to run as planned... what a bummer! My niece Elizabeth convinced him to join us anyway, she is 4 and has a way of getting her way... she is way too cute to resist!

Angie has a special bond with all of our kids, Aidan's bond to her is the strongest because she was very involved from day 1. She was there for his birth, and when she was taking child care classes at the local college his was her official test subject (meaning they got a lot of time to play together! He adores her to this day, and that feeling is returned. When she was pregnant for the first time she was scared to death that she would never love her own child as much as she loved Aidan.... she was wrong of course.

Lyndsay and Dylan have deemed her the "fun Aunt" she will climb trees with them, get stuck in trees by herself, she is always up for a wrestling match or just chasing wild boys around a park for hours.... I have no idea how she keeps that level of energy up, but she does rock with the kids!

Angie and Aidan at his 7th B-day party Angie letting those grubby fingers feed her cake

The beautiful Elizabeth


Tristan and Zan Summer 07 Tristan and Zander hanging on a tree

Can you believe these 2 are only a month apart??

I am so excited to see my sister after over a year, I can't wait to see her new baby boy, and I just love my niece and nephew...... living far apart is sooo hard, and I am about to make this aspect of my life quite a bit harder in the near future. that I admit does make me sad.

Angie and I have had this love hate relationship all our lives.... we hated each other growing up, then right about the time she graduated high school I was getting divorced..... we both saw a pretty good roommate opportunity, so we jumped on it. It didn't last long, but we bonded. Then in 2003 her and her boyfriend took off to Arkansas to help take care of his dying grandmother (there were other reasons but we won't discuss them here) The grandmother died in about a year, but by then her and Michael were married and happy with their lives. They have truly thrived in Arkansas, and I am happy for them ..... I wish they could have thrived a little closer, but we have to take what we can get!

Ang and Jen - Wedding day The new bride and groom - Angie & Mike

This is my first trip out there since Adam and I went for their wedding in August 2003. Actually this is my first trip without my husband.... I miss him like crazy!

She had beautiful wedding, and her and her husband love each other as much as the best couples I have come into contact with... they are truly happy! By this time tomorrow I will be hugging my baby sister and snuggling with her darling kiddos... I can't wait!!

Halloween fun

I have to admit I love Halloween.... I know it is a kids holiday, but there are just some things I have never gotten around to growing up and getting over (Parades, fireworks, and Halloween come to mind) Now that I have kids it is so much more fun. I love to let the kids pick out what they want to be, and I usually go with whatever they want (unless it is a very immodest costume or something really really bad) My mom is pretty awesome at making costumes, so she is able to make pretty much anything the kids want if she has a picture to go off. 2 years ago the kids got this great idea to all 4 dress up as Nintendo characters. I am not sure who's idea this was, but it was sure cute. My mom made all the costumes, and the kids just loved them.

Unfortunately my pictures from that year are currently buried deep in storage, which is a shame cause they were dang cute! I will have to post them after we move

Lynz was Princess Peach from the Mario Games.... she won the costume contest at church, I think she won a large handful of candy... just what she wanted!

Dylan was Charizard from Pokemon (and yes I just had to ask Aidan what that costume was called)

Aiden Tanner was Donkey Kong

Aidan Wolfe was Picachue from Pokemon.

Last year the kids were all different but darling...


We also carved some super awesome pumpkins last year, we each picked a stencil... I think Aiden Tanner did the bat, Adam did the cat in the window, Aidan Wolfe did the scary face, Lyndsay did the coral reef, I did the honu, and Dylan did the spider. It was a great family activity and every single person had a ball.

Lyndsay was a 50's girl my mom made this costume for her. Isn't she the prettiest poodle skirt wearing girl you have ever seen?!?!?!

Dylan was a ninja ... very dangerous and very sneaky!

Aiden Tanner was a samurai, and he won a brand new bike at the trunk or treat! I am not sure what a samurai is, but according to Dylan they are mortal enemies of the ninja.... great!

Aidan Wolfe was Link from the legend of Zelda for the 2nd time... Grandma worked hard on this one to, and he pointed out to Adam and I exactly which sword and shield he wanted, Adam carved and shaped them and I painted them.


and cute little Zander was a super cute little spider.

This year it was just Me, Adam, Aidan W. and Zan. Adam humored me and let me take the kids over to the trunk or treat early, then trick or treating in my favorite trick or treating neighborhood from my childhood. He stayed back and handed out candy... what a cool guy I have to just let me go with whatever I want to do... I sure love him! :) My mom's sewing machine was unavailable due to us completely destroying her house for the remodel, so we had to go with store bought costumes this year. The kids were just as happy.... Lynz is the one who gets sentimental about stuff that is made for her, by her grandma, I love that about her!

Me and my boys getting ready for trick or treating... Thanks to Adam I got a new haircut that I love, and my mom dyed it for me... gotta fit in with all the blond babes on the beach!

for this years costumes the boys were quite opinionated, Aidan decided that iron man was the costume for him, but just asking for it would have been a bit too normal for this kid... he had to drop everything he had in the isle at walmart and sing and do the air guitar very loudly "I am Iron man" He sang more than that but I just am not cool enough to know the words :) After that display I kinda had to get it... people were looking at us and quite a few were laughing.

Zander wanted to be a crab..... I tried to sway his decision, but he was set on it. No matter what I suggested he just said "no, baby a crab" so we went on eBay and found a crab costume that was not too expensive, so I went with it. Well on the afternoon of Halloween his costume still had not come. I had contacted the seller a few times, but could not track it down. I was certain it would arrive the day after I needed it, just my luck. I went through all my old costumes looking for anything that might fit, and lucky for me he hasn't grown much this last year, so the spider still fit him. I was working on convincing him that it was still a crab, just a black crab when the mailman came up our street and saved the day!

The boys had such a good time, the highlight for Zander was when tigger and pooh gave him candy, he was just in awe! He was so cute saying trick or treat and thank you like a good little boy. We shouldn't ruin his good boy rep with the story of him running right into a house while trick or treating, but I can't resist. When the guy opened the door he just darted right in, and right down the hall, as fast as lightning I swear! I actually had to go in and drag him out, while he was telling me that no, he was looking for the kitty (which I assume he must have seen run that way when the door opened) We stayed out later than we should have, and it was totally dark by the time we were walking back to the truck. Aidan fell down and I thought he was going to loose it, his candy spilled and his hand was scraped a little, but he said "It's okay, I'm iron man!" and got right back up.

We totally spaced on the pumpkin carving this year... or just plain ignored it. I like to do things like that when all the kids are here to participate, I just hate to leave anything out, so I kinda skipped it this year... next year the kids should be here and we will rock the jack o lanterns again!

So I guess now its time to start prepping for Christmas (not my favorite holiday, but the kids do have fun, so I like that) There are already Christmas decorations out in every store I go into..... Jeez they don't waste a minute! I hope we are in our new home by then and get to make all sorts of new memories!